Son: Why are hen’s legs so short? Dad: You’re a fool. If the hen’s legs were too long, wouldn’t they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?
儿子：为什么母鸡的腿这么短呢？ 爸爸：你个傻瓜，如果母鸡的腿太长的话，下蛋的时候它们不就会把蛋摔碎吗？
A man had two goldfish, he named one of them “One” and the other “Two”. He did this because…if one died, he’d still have two.
一名男子有两条金鱼，他给其中一条取名为One，另一条取名Two。他这样做是因为，如果One（有一条）死了，他还有Two（两条）。
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye.” The bartender says, “Yeah, right! I’ve never seen anyone do that!” So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away. He comes back half an hour later and says, “I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye.” Now the bartender becomes really skeptical. She says, “I just saw you walk in here — you can’t be blind!” So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye. The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
一名男子走进一家酒吧对酒保说：“我可以和你赌50美元，我能咬到我的右眼。”酒保说，“是吗？我可从来没见人这样做过。”于是这名男子拿出他的玻璃眼睛并咬了一口。 生气的酒保付给了这名男子50美元，这名男子就走了。半个小时后他又回来了，他说，：我跟你赌50美元，我能咬到我的左眼。”这次这个酒保变得真的很是怀疑。她说，“我刚刚看你走进来的，你不可能是瞎子！”于是这名男子把他的假牙拿出来要了一下他的左眼。酒保付给了他50美元，他就走了。
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.” 一名男子将鲜花放在他已故的亲爱的母亲的墓前后开始向他的车走回去，这时他的注意力被另一个跪在墓前的男子所吸引了。 这名男子好像在及其强烈地祈祷些什么，他一直重复着，“ 你为什么一定要死呢？你为什么一定要死呢？” 先前的男子走过来说，“先生，我并不愿打扰您私人的伤痛，只是您所表现出了的痛苦比我之前所见过的都要深。您是在如此深刻地悼念谁呢？您的小孩，还是您的父母？” 一会儿后，悼念者回过神来，于是答道，“是我妻子的前夫。”
